5. Tsar Tank (Russia)
The Tsar Tank was Russia’s answer to the problem of how to break through the German frontlines of World War 1. Unfortunately, as you can see, that answer was ridiculous. The Tsar was essentially a larger version of a tricycle, but with a cannon instead of a small child. However, whilst the first two wheels were stable enough to cross even the most treacherous terrain (and even crush a few trees), the little wheel at the back wasn’t so maneuverable. On its first test run, it got stuck in a patch of mud; since nothing could be found strong enough to pull it out, the Russians abandoned it until 1923, when it was dismantled for scrap metal.
4. Christie Amphibious Tank (USA)
Built by inventor J. Walter Christie in 1921, the Christie Amphibious Tank was intended to be used by the Army during beach landings, to both land on-shore and blow any enemy resistance to Hell. It was armed with a 75mm gun; however, the weight of the gun, combined with the weight of the quarter-inch armor that surrounded the sides, meant it came in at over seven tons in total. Shockingly, the military decided to pass on this tank, so Christie came back a few years later with a much lighter version, this time for the US Marines. They too passed on it, namely because somebody realized that it was open-topped, and that the soldiers inside might want a protective roof over their heads.
3. A7V (Germany)
The A7V tank was built and designed during the later stages of World War 1, in response to the tanks that the British were using on the battlefield. However, unlike the British tanks, the A7V was built by a tractor maker, a fact that was glaringly obvious to everyone that rode in it. It was basically a huge steel box fitted onto a tractor chassis. The only good thing about it was that it was well-armed; they had between 7-8 machine guns, with thousands of rounds of ammunition on board. Unfortunately, most never got to the battlefield, either because the crews kept passing out from the heat inside the tank, or because it kept getting stuck in the mud.
2. Antonov A-40 (Russia)
Not satisfied with the tank as a vehicle capable of destroying and driving over everything in its path, the Russians tried to make them even better by teaching them how to fly. Behold the Antonov A-40, basically a tank strapped to a glorified glider. However, in order to reduce the tank’s weight so that it was capable of flight, it had to be stripped of all its ammunition, a big problem when your main purpose is to fire this ammunition into the faces of the Nazis. Luckily, the Antonov never entered combat; the military test-flew it once and, despite its safe landing, they proceeded to forget about the whole thing.
1. Sherman Flail Crab (USA)
The Sherman Flail Crab tank is proof that sometimes the craziest people in the office do the best job. Aside from being a fully-working Sherman tank, its main job was to clear minefields, by beating the daylights out of them with chains. On the front of the tank, its designers mounted a series of drums with chains attached to them, and a motor that would rotate the whole array. Upon reaching the minefield, the motor would be kickstarted, and the chains would spin round and round, harmlessly detonating any mines they came into contact with. All we’re wondering is why they bothered fitting this tank with a gun, when they could have just pointed it at the enemy and terrified them into surrendering.
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