10. Armored Quadricycle (Great Britain)
Aside from being the first thing you’d think if you were asked what an armored vehicle designed by the British would look like, this 1899 vehicle is regarded as being one of the first tanks ever created. OK, so the armor only protects the torso of the driver / gunner but, thanks to the 1.5 horsepower engine, it doesn’t matter if their legs get shot off. Also, we can’t imagine this would get very far over hilly terrain, so it was lucky that this was never mass-produced.
9. 1K17 Szhatie (Russia)
Don’t let the massively boring name confuse you: the IK17 Szhatie was a fully-operational, laser-firing tank. Sure, it didn’t fire planet-destroying lasers like those on the Death Star, but they were equally as important. The lasers it fired were designed to permanently disable the targeting systems of enemy missiles, vehicles, or aircraft. In other words, if war had broken out and this thing fired at us, we wouldn’t be able to fire any accurate shots back using any of those machines we just mentioned. However, just in case any enemy forces got close to it, it was also equipped with an anti-aircraft gun on its roof. You can never be too careful.
8. Tortuga Tank (Venezula)
The Tortuga Tank was designed in 1934 and, like the Armored Quadricycle, was armed only with a machine gun. It was intended to scare the neighboring country of Colombia into not invading, but it’s hard to see why this would have worked. For one, “tortuga” is a translation of the word “turtle,” an animal not often associated with violence. Secondly, and we can’t state this enough; they look like armored pieces of poop, which is weird because they were supposed to resemble a British policeman’s helmet, which doesn’t say much for the guy who designed the damn helmet.
7. Krupp Kugelpanzer (Germany)
Also known as the “Ball Tank,” this specimen was captured by the Russians, in 1945 Manchuria. No other examples of this tank are known to have been produced, and next-to-nothing is known about it. The tank was powered by a tiny two-stroke engine, and its weaponry relied on whatever machine gun the driver had on hand at the time. As you tell, there was only room for one person in this so, if you ever get stuck fighting in one, bring some CD’s to keep you company.
6. Bob Semple Tank (New Zealand)
During World War II, New Zealand saw that every other country had some tanks, and decided to make some themselves. However, without the industrial capability to do such a task, they settled on building a shed of corrugated iron on a tractor’s base. Named after their Minister of Works, Bob Semple, each tank was equipped with seven machine guns. However, the cramped conditions inside meant that one crew member had to shoot out of his firing hole whilst laying on a mattress covering the engine. After the tanks were ridiculed for their appearance, they never saw combat, although they did boost public morale all across the country.
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